Noodlesakaevan

u/Noodlesakaevan (born June 26, 1984) is an American politician and lawyer who has served as the senior United States senator from New Jersey since Early Winter 2035, succeeding Captain Halsey. Prior to his election to the US Senate, he served as Attorney General of Massachusetts, Governor of Massachusetts, United States Secretary of State, and Vice President of the United States under President Arc.

Early life and education
Noodles was born in Brooklyn, New York to Chinese immigrant parents, and raised in Bergen County, New Jersey. An exceptional student, he took an early interest in politics, citing the 1994 Republican Revolution and the presidency of Bill Clinton as the roots of his political activism. In 2000, while still in high school, Noodles volunteered for Al Gore's presidential campaign, which he later credited as having had a "profound impact" on his political leanings. He graduated high school in 2002, near the top of his class, and attended the University of Chicago, where he received undergraduate degrees in global economics and political science. In 2010, he received a JD-MBA degree from Columbia University in New York before moving to Boston, where he briefly worked for Boston Consulting Group.

Noodles volunteered for both of Barack Obama's successful presidential campaigns, serving as a part-time Democratic strategist in Obama's 2012 re-election run. In 2015, he left Boston Consulting Group to work full time as a staffer for Massachusetts senator Elizabeth Warren in Washington, D.C. before returning to Boston in 2019 to form his own political consulting firm. He soon became known nationwide as a top Democratic strategist, especially after having worked for both future president Joe Biden and Massachusetts senator Ed Markey in their respective 2020 elections.

Governor of Massachusetts
In 2022, with the endorsements of several the state's top Democrats, Noodles was elected Attorney General of Massachusetts, a position to which he was re-elected in 2026. In 2028, he was elected Governor of Massachusetts after four-term Republican incumbent Charlie Baker declined to seek re-election. As governor, Noodles passed a series of new state taxes and nationalized the state's energy grid under the government-owned Massachusetts Grid Corporation, colloquially referred to as MassGrid. Under his administration, Massachusetts also became the first state to formally adopt Dizzler Month as a public holiday, shortly before the federal government passed similar legislation. He also led the Massachusetts state government's response to the 2030 Summer War, during which he ordered full evacuations of Boston and Cambridge. Noodles would continue to serve as governor until Early Summer 2031, when he resigned to become Vice President of the United States.

Secretary of State
In late 2029, following the disappearance of evanr, Noodles was nominated by President Arc to succeed him as United States Secretary of State. He would go on to play an active role in the Arc Administration and serve as a close ally of the President, especially during the 2030 Summer War, during which Washington, D.C. was evacuated and the Administration was relocated to the Mount Weather Emergency Operations Center. From Mount Weather, he helped lead the US response to China and gave the final authorization for Defense Secretary Revan to launch a single targeted nuclear strike against Beijing. After the conclusion of the war, Noodles traveled with President Arc to Singapore, where he played a major role in crafting the landmark Singapore Accords as Secretary of State.

Vice President
Following the resignation of Vice President Clarinetist in 2031 for personal reasons, President Arc nominated Noodles to the position. He was confirmed by the Senate on a bipartisan vote and subsequently resigned from his positions as Governor of Massachusetts and Secretary of State. Noodles would later be appointed to the additional position of Democratic National Committee chair, which he would serve as until his election to the Senate in 2034. As DNC chair, Noodles hosted the 2032 Democratic National Convention in Phoenix, Arizona, where the incumbent administration was renominated for a second term in office. He was absent from much of the campaign season, including the Vice Presidential debates, due to health reasons after falling ill, and he and President Arc ultimately lost the 2032 general election to the Republican ticket of New Hampshire senator Frak Reynolds and Georgia governor ArticLaSilence.

Post Vice President years
After losing re-election and being kicked out of the Naval Observatory, an unemployed and homeless Noodles retreated to a White House closet, where he would live for the next two years while serving as the resident White House Poltergeist. He often roamed the White House corridors at night looking for food, spooking the staff, haunting the President and asking for money so he could buy some Doritos from the White House vending machine. He became something of a local landmark, greeting tour groups during the day and hosting prominent D.C. residents, including the family of New York senator Due Long, for dinner at the White House closet. Noodles would continue living in the White House closet until 2035, when he resigned from his position as White House poltergeist and moved his residence to a Senate utility closet after winning the New Jersey senate election.

Chairman of MSNBC
Shortly after losing his job as Vice President, Noodles was awarded a position as chairman of the board of executives of the Monke Sus National Basedcasting Company, today part of MSNBC Holdings Ltd. He would remain in this position throughout his time in the White House closet, although he was technically still unemployed since MSNBC did not yet operate in MEUS. As chairman of the board, he helped lay the groundwork for the network's later expansion, including into the MEUS market through its acquisition of MockCBS (now CNBC). In 2034, then senator-elect Noodles would leave MSNBC due to conflict of interest issues. He was succeeded as chairman by former South Carolina senator Strom Thurmond.

U.S. Senate
In 2033, during the Democratic Party split, Noodles, a lifelong Democrat, switched to the Progressive Union Party. He subsequently worked with leaders from both parties to help negotiate a power sharing agreement, and he played a major role in the formation of the Democratic-Progressive Coalition. In 2034, Noodles ran for US Senate from New Jersey on a progressive/bipartisan platform to succeed incumbent Democrat Captain Halsey, who did not run for re-election. After receiving the endorsement of leaders from all four major political parties (Republicans, Democrats, Libertarians, and Progressives), Noodles won the election and was sworn in to the Senate in 2035.

As a senator, Noodles has generally been seen as a champion of progressive policies. He introduced a minimum wage reform bill along with Alabama senator Helpfulad (D), and he is also regarded as the chief architect of the landmark 2036 Trans Rights Act. In 2036, Noodles also wrote and introduced the Embargo and Relations Act, and he has consistently been a strong critic of PSUS. Regarding his bipartisanship, Noodles stated, "I would say I have a strong working relationship with most of my Senate colleagues regardless of political affiliation, and I have a lot of friends across the aisle. I strive to be friendly with all of my colleagues, Democrats, Republicans, whatever, because it's always a good idea as a politician to have positive connections."

Committee assignments

 * Committee on Basedness (chair)

Political positions
(insert policies here lol)

Personal life
Noodles is unmarried and has no children. He currently resides in a Senate utility closet at the US Capitol, although he also maintains a townhouse in Hoboken, New Jersey, overlooking the Hudson River and Midtown Manhattan.